Getting Replies

Greetings all,

As I wrote last week I would post my "secrets" of letter writing to the list. I would not normally share this information with the public at large because it pretty likely that a few of those who read it could essentially lie to the ladies simply to get the results.

Before you go cutting and pasting, you really need to ask yourself if the search for a foreign wife is for you. Do you have ample disposable income and savings? More importantly, do you have time to conduct a search, travel to meet women who would like to meet you? Are you emotionally stable to the point where you can remain rational when faced with fairly difficult situations (NP - not seeing the person you want to be with for months)? If you didn't think of all of this before you started, or you are currently writing there is something for everyone here - read on.

You've decided to write letters. Is your goal to write letters or to find an ideal partner? Good. Then writing letters can be an instrument that you can use proactively or passively. If you are proactive, the laws of averages take effect and you can essentially be guaranteed of success in identifying potentially very ideal partners. Beyond this there is little value in letter writing. Those who write letters passively are so rarely successful that we won't discuss them.

You will read a lot of conflicting information when you read various website owners writing their own propaganda, just as I am doing. Keep in mind is these agencies make a lot of money when you are writing letters, some charge $5 -$10 a page for translations and $10 for a letter... They will tell you "Write, Write a lot, write until you feel comfortable (or whatever)" You get the picture.

The fact is that the only thing letter writing can do in the process of finding a wife is provide enough information about a lady to allow you to evaluate if you both have enough interest to meet. It's far too often I see folks write for months and months, and then see everything fade away. It serves no purpose to anyone. Letters can not replace meeting in person. I often ask some of our better letter writers if they felt that letter writing for months was as informative as meeting someone in person for a few hours. You guessed it, a few hours can often tell much more.

There are a lot of ways to go about this whole letter writing thing, I'll only address one here, by no way the only.

How Write Russian women and get 80% replies.

Everything I describe is proven, and I recommend only the best, esp when it comes to photographs. I don't recommend the Sears photo studio. A good photographer will go though 1-2 rolls of film and come up with 3-5 really good photos. These are the ones you want. If you don't want to pay the $200 that a good photographer will want, go and take a few rolls of yourself. Regardless, we'll want to have the negative handy. 80% of the people reading this will disregard it and when they do they normally send the following photos

• Me and my car
• Me and my house
• Me with my beer buddies at the bar
• Me with my arms around some woman (regardless if she is a friend etc)
• Me in my office at my desk
• Me with my 10 point buck
• Me with my best friend "Rover" (well ..)

Those of you who think sending you and your BMW convertible is a good picture are the same ones that wind up with a maxed out credit card whining that she ran off the first guy with a Ferrari. The photos should show you, and just you, don't use a photo with material possessions to entice, you will probably regret attracting the wrong type of girl. A few photos is best. Russian women put a lot of emphasis on the eyes. I recommend a photo or 2 with a smile. A good face shot is important. Remember, first impressions are the most important.

Photos are not optional in my 80% reply method.

Now, go grab your calendar and determine when you will have free time to travel. If you are going the writing method of meeting pick a date about 3 months from the time you'll be ready to go visit the ladies you'd like to meet. Perhaps there are something that you can do to spend extra time, wind down a project, prepare employees or whatever. Think the more time the better the end results. You'll want to plan on meeting no less than 10-15 ladies. That may sound like a lot, but then again why limit yourself. Writing letters should qualify the ladies and provide you with quality contacts.

Now, Grab you world Atlas, fire up your browser and start looking. Now before you go writing someone in Krasnodarsky Krai, you might want to look to see just where that is. You might look for ladies you could easily meet.

How many ladies you will write is very important. How many? 20 - 40 - 60 ladies. Which ones should you pick? Any you like. Funny, the ladies who are the most beautiful often get the fewest letters.

Don't be intimidated, it serves no purpose. The more you write the larger your selection will be, you will need to pick from those you write which ones you will meet.

Make your list of ladies, this will require a fair amount of organization.You'll need more than just their address you'll need what they wrote in their advertisement (if they wrote it). It may just be best to print out everything you can and make a folder do manage the information.

Start writing letters. The objective of the introduction letter is to get a reply, get started corresponding. The letter writing process is as much seduction as it is informative.

I have found the best way to write letters is in a style I guess you could call romantic minimalism

The following letter was sent to me as an example that would be sent to Evgenia. It's very typical, therefore I will point out a few things here and give some suggestions and at the end of this letter I'll go over how to take the same person and get 80% replies.

Hello ________ : With that you lost it. Form letters are a great way to turn off a lady who might just be the your ideal lady.

When addressing Russian women you don't know, use the first and middle name, you might use Dearest Lidiya Michailovna for example

"Greetings from the USA! I found your profile on the _______web site. I found you to be a most attractive and genuine woman so I am sending you a note and a picture. I hope you will respond." With the first paragraph, you say nothing that she doesn't know. She will figure out where to write you, you obviously liked her or you would not have written and the last thing you need to say is I hope you will respond.

The first part of your letter must capture the attention of the lady you are writing. Think hard.. How can a guy capture the attention of a lady. Try a compliment or 2.

"Dear Tatyana Nickolayevna,

Imagine how hard it must be for me to find a few words to start a letter that might change the rest of my life. Since I saw your photo and read your information on the internet, my mind has been occupied with the impression you left on me. You are a very lovely lady, your eyes, your lips, your warm smile. When I heard that men from America could meet Russian women on the internet, I asked myself why would they go all the way around the world to meet a lady when there are so many fine ladies here. Now I understand completely, and have decided that if the love of my life is in another country, I'm in the wrong place."

This is just an example,... Don't copy it, try to think of something yourself or related to her. Perhaps she is in a nice red dress, or sitting with a pet, try to personalize.

"My name is Thomas ______ although most of my friends call me Tom and my family calls me Tommy. I am 44 years old, 5 feet 10 inches tall (1.78 meters) and 200 pounds (88.9 kilograms). I live just south of Boston, Massachusetts in the region of the U.S. known as New England."

This is not what she really needs to know about you, not in the introduction letter. No, in all reality what she needs to know is that you are serious, not just looking for a toy and a housekeeper, that you're not another penpal type who'll never come and so on.

"I am a decisive person, I make a decision and then carry it out. I have decided that if I must go to Russia to meet a lady like you, then I can do that. I have free to visit you on (travel date), I have looked at my calendar and checked on a ticket. I am sure we could learn much about each other in person. Don't you think this is best? I am a very nice guy (at least I think so) and would love the opportunity to get to know you better. I am seeking a true love, a partner for life and someone to create a family with."

Say it as you like, you'll want to make the point that your letter is sincere, and you are planning to meet her if all goes well.

"I am a high school science teacher of Biology, Chemistry, and Physics. I have been doing this almost 19 years. I hold both a B.S. and M.S. from the University of Massachusetts. I am not "rich" by most standards but I consider myself very wealthy in the most important things life has to offer health, family and friends. Teaching teenagers is frustrating but the work is also steady, reliable, and rewarding. I am in excellent health and physical condition; do not smoke cigarettes, do illegal drugs, and very rarely drink alcohol."

Work, income and so on are good letter topics later on. Quite often I see people brag here. This is not the place. You might be Bill Gates himself, here in your introductory letter you should remain humble and vague.

"I work in education, and enjoy my challenging work very much. I am stable and could support you and our family"

But think about the flow of your letters, above we talk about who we are, then about work, and then about family. This is probably better when we are writing about ourselves a bit

"The members of my family are the most important people in my life and always have been. My religious background is Catholic but I have no formal religious ties right now. My mother is alive but my father died three years ago. I have four sisters and three brothers. All of them with the exception of my brother James and myself are married and have families. I have fourteen nieces and nephews. Your little girl will never have trouble finding a playmate.

While God has never blessed me with either a wife or children I do know how to love and honor a woman as well as cherish any child. In spite of the fact I have been hurt and disappointed several times I have never given up hope that I would one day find the right woman to love and share my life with. I am extremely easy going but do not tolerate what one might call the fatal A’s of relationships: adultery, abuse, or addictions."

How much of this information is needed. Is her concern that her little daughter will have a playmate. Religion is noted as not being formal, but then God doesn't bless you with a family. Past failures and so on have no place in an introductory letter. You might be better off addressing the issues that concern you.

These 2 paragraphs might be done something like this, focusing on the keywords she uses in her advertisement.

"You write that you seek a loving and caring man who wishes to make a family. I believe that the family should be the center of ones life, a person may have all the wealth in the world but if he have no love he is poor and if his life has not lead to children I feel his life has been fruitless. Children require loving parents, and when they have them they can grow into very beautiful people. Wouldn't you agree your daughter is the most precious part of your life? How I envy you that you have such a source of joy. I can assure you that I would think of our family first, and that my family would accept you and your daughter with great joy. I lead a good healthy lifestyle, I don't drink or smoke, and have the time and resources we would need to create warmth in the family, I work in education, and enjoy my challenging work very much. I am stable and able to provide security. What do you think of family? What do you think of raising children? I Imagine it must be very difficult for you as a single mother, how do you manage?"

"My interests are varied. I like to travel. I have been to many areas of the U.S. but New England is home. It is such a rich and varied region that even after a lifetime living here I feel I have barely begun to see and experience all that is available. I enjoy motorcycles, automobiles, computers, the Internet (obviously), working out at the local gym, running along the back roads, many other sports, hiking, going to the beach to name only a few. I also like to put on dressy or even formal wear and go out to dinner or to the opera, symphony, and even the ballet! I read a great deal and am interested in other cultures and people.

I hope you enjoy my note and picture ________ and will look forward to hearing from you."

One of the largest problems that the ladies have is writing an answer. I deal with this in 2 ways, I leave pretty important information out, leaving them with questions they would have to ask to make an educated decision. I then when writing, use a lot of questions, every question mark gives her a reason to answer, the simple fact that you asked so many might produce a reply in itself. Telling a bit about what you enjoy gives plenty of room to ask a few good questions.

"My interests are varied. I like to travel, but I have never been to Russia, I imagine my trip will be very interesting. Do you have any suggestions before I come? I have been all over the US but never to Europe, Do you enjoy traveling? I like to travel regularly, but traveling alone is not that fun. I like riding motorcycle, do you like riding them? Do you know how to drive? I like computers as well, interesting pieces of silicon. Do you have a computer to use to send electronic mail? Do you enjoy sports? I run every couple of days, to stay fit and healthy. I don't want to give you the wrong impression, I think my lifestyle is a good balance of cultural activities on the town as well as just enjoying home.

I look forward to knowing that you received my letter, and ask that you tell me as soon as you can if the dates I planned on would work for you. I really hope so. I had this letter translated and if it's easier for you to reply in Russian you may.

Sincerely Yours,
Tom,
palm street, USA
tom@mail.ru"

Dear Tatyana Nickolayevna,
Imagine how hard it must be for me to find a few words to start a letter that might change the rest of my life. Since I saw your photo and read your information on the internet, my mind has been occupied with the impression you left on me. You are a very lovely lady, your eyes, your lips, your warm smile. When I heard that men from America could meet Russian women on the internet, I asked myself why would they go all the way around the world to meet a lady when there are so many fine ladies here. Now I understand completely, and have decided that if the love of my life is in another country, I'm in the wrong place.

I am a decisive person, I make a decision and then carry it out. I have decided that if I must go to Russia to meet a lady like you, then I can do that. I able to visit you on (travel date), I have looked at my calendar and checked on a ticket. I am sure we could learn much about each other in person. Don't you think this is best? I am a very nice guy (at least I think so) and would love the opportunity to get to know you better. I am seeking a true love, a partner for life and someone to create a family with.

You write that you seek a loving and caring man who wishes to make a family. I believe that the family should be the center of one's life, a person may have all the wealth in the world but if he have no love he is poor and if his life has not lead to children I feel his life has been fruitless. Children require loving parents, and when they have them they can grow into very beautiful people. Wouldn't you agree your daughter is the most precious part of your life? How I envy you that you have such a source of joy. I can assure you that I would think of our family first, and that my family would accept you and your daughter with great joy. I lead a good healthy lifestyle, I don't drink or smoke, and have the time and resources we would need to create warmth in the family, I work in education, and enjoy my challenging work very much. I am stable and able to provide security. What do you think of family? What do you think of raising children? I Imagine it must be very difficult for you as a single mother, how do you manage?

My interests are varied. I like to travel. but I have never been to Russia, I imagine my trip will be very interesting. Do you have any suggestions before I come? I have been all over the US but never to Europe. Do you enjoy traveling? I like to travel regularly, but traveling alone is not that fun. I like riding motorcycle, do you like riding them? Do you know how to drive? I like computers as well, interesting pieces of silicon. Do you have a computer to use to send electronic mail? Do you enjoy sports? I run every couple of days, to stay fit and healthy. I don't want to give you the wrong impression, I think my lifestyle is a good balance of cultural activities on the town as well as just enjoying home.

I look forward to knowing that you received my letter, and ask that you tell me as soon as you can if the dates I planned on would work for you. I really hope so. I had this letter translated and if it's easier for you to reply in Russian you may.

Sincerely Yours,
Tom ...,
tom@mail.ru
(If I thought a another day on the letter, it's probably be better)

Now, Tom is going to send a few photos, they might give indication to his age, height and weight. But note, I left that information out. I used a lot of questions, but really said little. You can include this info, but with a well written letter they often forget to ask on the second and 3rd letter. Some of these ladies have priorities that you can touch on to make the difference.

Some introduction letter composition do's and don't

• Do try to keep it fairly short, if you are sending more than a 1 - 1.5 pages it's too much. Victor who wrote to the list last week that he wrote 600 ladies sent a 7-8 page introduction letter. This alone scared off 80%.
  
• Do personalize it, you'll need to focus on keywords she uses in her advertisement.
  
• Don't get into topics that might be very controversial. For example, all the Russian women I know like sex, but don't walk around telling it to strangers. Leave it for a topic later.
  
• Don't talk bad about all the women you dated, do get into the details or past relations so on and so forth, they come later.
  
• Don't try to tell everything. It's and Introductory letter, not a biography.
  
• Leave out poems that might not translate well, they have their place.
  
• Don't send dried flowers with you letter (It's a bad omen)
  
• Use simple English. Use hard not arduous, simple not unadorned.
  
• Use a spell checker, it's hard to find the meaning of an misspelled word.
  
• Print your letter making it easy to read.
  

Now you have the letter, but content isn't everything, timing and delivery has a lot to do with it.

For every lady you decided to write go buy a nice Hallmark card or something, print your letter on nice paper and put a couple of photos in your letter and send it by regular mail. It will take about 2 weeks to get to it's destination.

After 2 weeks time, send the same letter by email. Having it translated is best, then ask which language is best.
On the third week send a follow up letter to any of the ladies you didn't get an answer from. Just a short note saying you were really hoping on hearing from her, and wanted to make sure she got the first letter. (you might send a copy)

By the end of any second letter you should be somewhere about 80% reply rate. The mailing from your home country is important, you might send registered letters to insure their delivery. The fact that you send a translated letter and resend it again shows you are determined and thoughtful. The fact that you follow up if you don't get a reply right away lets them know you were really thinking about them.

3 months is plenty of time to correspond, rarely do we see any really pertinent content in letters after this amount of time. Most of the time people fall into exchanges of pleasantries and talk of the weather and the price of rice in China.

It's important to remain focused and ask the hard hitting questions once you have well established communications. Give yourself a day or 2 between when you get a letter and when you reply. This will let you pace yourself when writing so many ladies.

At some point you'll need to sit down and decide if there are too many to meet in person, and decide who seems to be best for you. I recommend meeting many ladies, the more the better.

Some other misc.. thoughts

• Probably not best to send money to anyone if you'll whine about it later.
  
• Don't just drop the correspondence, send at least a dear Jane letter.
  
• Don't try to hide the fact that you are writing others. Be honest, and explain she should do the same.
  
• Don't break from your plan.
  
• Don't enter a "I write you only - you write me only" pact with any of the ladies.
  

In all reality, it's a lot of work with this process, you are probably looking at some 150-250 letters over a 3 month period of time. As I mentioned above many men say that they learned as much in a few hours with the lady. But I can not argue with the fact that you can get some good information before you travel. My thought is at what cost does that information come. Wouldn't your time be wiser spent in person. 90% of all ladies we contact agree to meet a man who is in their home town ready to meet them. If you look at our website, you'll see that the 90% leave quite a few really nice options.

Regardless if you decide to write or just get on a plane I wish you the best.